Don’t Let Your Opponents Define You

During last week’s US election, we saw a pretty strong message to the Republican party as a whole. Across the board, Republicans lost ground in every conceivable spot they could. They lost almost everywhere and gained almost nowhere. In short, Republicans could stand to improve next time around if they are going to find relevance again.

In discussing the results of the election, there has been a lot of talk about what’s next for the Republican party, what they did wrong and how they need to change. Much of this advice has come from Democratic strategists who, while being successful this round, don’t necessarily have the best interests of Republicans in mind.  There is an important HR and life lesson embedded here:

Don’t Let Your Opponents Define You

Your HR Guy loves listening to feedback from other business leaders. I believe this advice, taken with the proper amount of salt, can help you hone your skills to be a better leader. The problem is that people are naturally agenda driven so their agenda doesn’t necessarily have your best interests in mind. The “advice” I often get from business leaders is that they want me to do their job. Now if I listened to them and followed their advice, I might get on their good graces but that wouldn’t be beneficial to me (or them really). When a business leader wants me to do their job, I help them do their job better. I get what I want and they get what they need. It might not make them as happy as they would have dictated, it demonstrates my value in a positive way.

While I’d love to believe that I could hold hands and sing kumbaya with my peers (and that I really hate the “them vs. us” mentality), ultimately you have to do what is best for you and for your industry. That means you’re often ignoring, disregarding and even flying in the face of feedback you receive.

Learning What You Are (And What You Aren’t)

That doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to learn from other business leaders. Many of the articles that deal with people’s frustrations with HR and responses to my last post about it (both on my site and on Brazen Careerist) have valuable insight about where I could better demonstrate value. Both the original posts and some of the comments demonstrate that it is important that you listen to feedback but that you ultimately have to define the problem, your part in it, your value and the solution.

The HR department is not the Sales department.

Republicans are not Democrats.

Other people are not you.

But It Works Right Now So Who Cares?

When you let other people define your problems, your value and your solution, you always (and I mean ALWAYS) lose. Even when the end result is a good thing, you still lose because you had no part in it.

So how do you take charge of the process?

1. Stop listening to idiot allies. People in your industry, your party or your life have steered you wrong yet you are tempted to continue to listen to them because they are on your team. Find people who not only have a vested interest in your success but also have great ideas.
2. Find people who will be honest with you. Not only do you need someone who shares in your success, you need someone who can be completely honest with you. Without this, you will continue to rely on idiot allies to help you find a way.
3. Listen to your opponents (differently). When somebody gives you advice and they don’t have a vested interest in your success, listen closely. What assumptions do they make about your weaknesses? How could their “solutions” benefit them?
4. Understand your own value. If you don’t define and understand it, there is a 100% chance that nobody else will either. You have to understand how you can impact the world in a positive way in order to move forward.
5. Define the solution. Stop listening and waiting for someone else to come up with a great idea in your area of expertise. If people are continuing to give you advice in your area of expertise, you haven’t reached the solution yet. Hint: The “solution” is impossibly hard to achieve so you’ll be stuck on step five for a while.

This works in HR, politics and life (and it probably works in sports too!). What else would you add or change?